It's hard to believe that today is Friday. Last night ended on a good note. Dana returned my call. I remember, the first thing he said was that he was watching YouTube and he thought of me. I asked why. He said he had been watching a Skins clip. We talked a little more about Skins, and he had said he thought about how much he misses me. I thought to myself here it comes. He said "I know I sound silly right now. I want you back." My heart sank, and I tried to keep from crying. I told him, "Remember when I said if you ever wanted to come back, my heart would always be open. I meant that Dana." So, he asked a while later, "So, are we back to normal? Together?" I said of course we are. He also told me that he was going to call Thursday, but he didn't. I told him we wouldn't be able to see each other easily for at least 4 weeks, because Mom not being able to drive. He pointed out, "You realize that in 4 weeks, it's Christmas?" He informed me he was going to his Mom's house for Christmas. All I thought to myself was just come back afterwards. He said later, "I guess the song, our song was right. I found my way back." Tears actually did start rolling down my face. I can't wait to see him again. It's almost as if we are starting over. Something tells me we aren't just going to jump back where we left off. For one, I'm not going to be as easy on him. Of course, I'm not sure I can be really hard on him either. Hm, that's for a later date, not now. I'm just happy that finally things are going back to my comfort zone. Of course, not everything has returned to that zone. Obviously, I'm still up at 11:14, I haven't eaten much today although right now my stomach is reminding me that right now. I haven't had an anxiety attack today. At about 12, I had Rissi come over and watch Mom while Dad and I went to the store. Chels came shortly after that. I took Rissi home around 6, in the golf cart, which was fun. I suddenly remember why I liked driving that thing. J I came back, and Chels was still there. I offered to let her stay longer. She ended up leaving around 10:40, haha. I liked that though. Mom isn't doing as well as I would like her to be. She feels sick, and can hardly get up and move when she needs to go to the bathroom. She doesn't want to take her pain medication because it makes her stomach upset. She called the doctor's resident. She is going to put her on a different medication, so it's easier on her stomach. She also had a fit because of the one small step that we have from our Dining Room into our Kitchen. Although, before they didn't. She also doesn't have a choice when she needs to go to the bathroom; she needs to go up that step. Last night, or rather this morning I was up at 1, 5, and 8 to help her to the bathroom. It doesn't bother me, because someone has to do it, and you don't see Dad doing it, do you? The anesthesia is supposed to wear off tomorrow, which is a good thing, which should start helping things. And then she should be able to get to the bathroom herself at night and stuff, so I don't have to be on call. That's what it feels like anyway. I may actually get to bed before midnight lately, because I am dead tired. Chels is coming back over on Monday, which is going to be good. I do wonder when I will get to see Dana. You know, that's one thing that won't change. I will still constantly think about him. I haven't had time to work on my novel lately, so that's behind. It's hard to believe tomorrow is the last day of November already. I also need to go visit the spot sometime soon, although I'm sure the Goddess will understand I have to watch Mom. Well, I believe that shall be it for tonight. Goodnight everyone. J
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Today’s Song: Take My Hand by Dido
Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking
Take my hand and show me where were going
Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
What you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
Ill always be alone
If I'm lying to you
See my eyes, they carry your reflection
Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
What you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
Ill always be alone
If I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
You believe me
Feel the sun on your face and tell me what you're thinking
Catch the snow on your tongue and show me how it tastes
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
Ill always be alone
If I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
You believe me