Oh my…last day before school. Ew. Well…Not sure what all to write about tonight. I'll keep it short, because I'm kinda tired. Well…I went to the mall today. With Rissi and Bel. Rissi bought me a Cappi. I was happy. :D I haven't had one in a while. It's starting to get cold outside now. I like that. I can sing outside at night again. J I know, I'm odd. I like doing that. It gives me something to do. And I enjoy it. Rissi bought me a Shakespeare book when she was in DC. She also brought over some…other items which will go unnamed. I was feeling really sick in the cars today. Probably my allergies. You know what's bothering me? Jacob's sleep schedule. Half the time when I'm awake, he's asleep. And when he's awake, I'm asleep. We never get to talk that way. And now with school coming up, we get to talk even less. I love having conversations with him. But they never seem to…really carry. They start, and a few sentences later they stop. I'm not sure what to do about it. I want to have a conversation with him that will last a while, but I don't know what to…really talk about. Especially since he gets distracted and occupied, and he disappears. I don't know…sometimes I think he's…not really paying attention at all. Of course, I know he is…but…I don't know. This will be so much easier when we're physically together. Until then…I can't help but wonder. If Jacob ever gets to reading this…I'm sorry Lullaby. But, this is where I let my thoughts out; otherwise they stay inside and bug me. I can't tell any of this to you. Even though you'll end up reading it…whenever you DO get to my blogs… Anyway…I think that's enough for tonight. So, goodnight. Today's song: Love Is On The Way by Billy Porter
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Ah, what a wonderful night to start blogging again. :D Ah…where to begin. Let's see…Jacob. Wow…8 months soon. Where does time go? I wonder what it will feel like in 4 months…to be dating him for a year. I'll tell you one thing, I will love it. I love him. More than I ever loved Dana…or Jeff. He's more perfect than the others. Jeff was an amazing guy. But he lived far away. Dana…he was more of an infatuation. Someone I dated just because he was available, and lived here. Sure, I feel horrible saying that, but I think that's what it was. Jacob…he's amazing. He has everything I've dreamed of. He's nice, smart. Probably cute. Defiantly has a hot voice. That's right! He talked to me on the phone while I was in Oshkosh this year. His voice….is so amazing. Sure, he's left me voicemails saying "I love you". But it's different to actually talk to him. It's much better. His laugh is amazing too. But then I screwed up on the day I left Oshkosh this year. So there was a cute guy (probably gay too) I named him Noah. And I kinda told Jacob about how I kept watching him. And he didn't tell me that he was already in a bad mood. So, it kinda made him feel horrible. But…I suppose that's one of the only things that bother me about Jacob. He doesn't always tell me exactly how he feels. But, I'm sure he'll get better with that over time. I can't wait until I can spend a lot of time with him. Of course, the problem is, once I see him at Oshkosh, waiting an entire year to see him again will be an eternity. A sacrifice that I'm willing to make. I plan to have Bel get a second Campsite Pass so Jacob and I and her can sleep a little ways from the camper. Only a little ways though. Anyway, Jacob is simply amazing. I call him Lullaby sometimes. :D I love him. One of the things I love most about him is how he appears to be mysterious. This guy, who lives in Green Bay. His name is Jacob. That's all normal people would know about him. He's always been reluctant to tell me any more than that, but of course, he failed at that. But, I wouldn't be able to tell you much of anything. :D Anyway, next subject. I hate writing about this one, but I do because it makes me feel better to have it written. Dana. Btw, Bel and I decided to call him Kes. So, he'll be referred to Kes from now on. Kes decided to tell me that we should really let each other go, but stay friends. It's not so easy to just, cut him out like that. Even he can't do it. Of course, because I have Jacob, it'll make it easier and quicker for me. Only time will help that situation. I haven't heard from Kes since….well…3 weeks ago. He's supposed to be coming back to Holmen in a day or two. He still wants to watch Skins at my house. But I don't know if we ever will. Next subject…Mom has to have surgery on her other foot. You all remember what the other one was like…me having to wake up at early hours, having to get Dad up…make his lunch, etc. Yup….I have to do it all over again. But this time will be different. I'd tell you how right now, but that'd be giving Bel a spoiler, because she's gonna read this blog. And she gets to find out tomorrow anyway. :P HAI BEL! Anyways….ha….I'm worried about mom. Her health is getting worse. The pulmonary doctor said he can't do anything more for her. Her regular doctor isn't finding many other solutions for her other problems. At least she's getting her foot problem fixed. But…the problem is really that Dad doesn't seem to care. Which bothers the hell out of me. But, I'll probably write more about that tomorrow. Next…Rissi. She's more bothersome lately. She tried to tell me that she knows what love is really like, when she's been dating her girlfriend for less than a month. As compared to how I'm pretty sure I know what love is, and I've been dating Jacob almost 8 months. Sure, I'm no where near an expert of love, but I do know more than she does. Do you want to know my honest opinion? I think she's a lesbian because I'm gay. It's like she's trying to steal the gay idea from me. "Oh, I'm gayer than you are" Hell, she wasn't even gay until AFTER she knew I was. It's like a new idea that she just had to be. Like a new clothes trend, everyone wants to try it. And she's trying to monopolize the gay thing too. Like I can't have a part in it at all. Like I don't know it. She challenges my intelligence about it, and it bothers the hell out of me. But I don't dare tell her about it. Because she'll deny it. And have this huge fit. And I'll just get even more pissed off. Hmph. Gr. Anyway. I haven't mentioned how my Aunt/Godmother Jackie DELETED me. She's such a bitch, you know? I'm trying to be nice to her. She ignores me. So I give her a slight attitude, SLIGHT. And she deletes me. She's so shallow she probably thought my mom put me up to it or something. Screw her. Hm…school starts in less than a week. I'm determined to stay caught up this year. Even be a day ahead, so I don't have to worry about school work when I have to go with mom to run errands and stuff like that. Well, that's about it for tonight. I'm getting kinda tired. So, I'll keep posting everyday. Or almost everyday. I'll also start the whole song of the day thing again. It'll be like old times right? So you all know, Coffee is the finest organic suspension ever devised. :D Goodnight.