Sunday, July 31st, 2011

Good evening everyone. I’m back at home this evening from my vacation. I can’t say I’m happy to be here, but then again when I think about it…I’m never happy to come home. I didn’t say goodbye to Sarah this morning because she left before I got up…and I didn’t really say bye to Noah either. While Bel gave him a hug and everything, I did not. Mostly because I was all sweaty and icky, but also because I think it might have felt awkward. I didn’t go out on the flightline this morning either, which is disappointing as well. But…what can one do? I have 349 days until I leave next year. It never does seem to come fast enough, or stay long enough. And…I also can’t help but be reminded that this means winter will soon be upon me again. *sigh* Life must go on, hm? I miss Sarah, and Leighton, and Michelle and even Logan. The upside to all of them is that they have Facebook. And I know at least two of them will read this anyway, so *waves* hi. :P It could be worse. We could be in the time before Facebook and texts. Then I’d have to wait a painfully LONG 394 days to see them again, or even talk to them. My week was pretty good though. Sarah and I made a new tradition of going to get coffee (usually iced) in the morning. And I was told Leighton said it was HIS new tradition to come over at night and chat with us. Even though I was being VERY anti-social at night and not sitting out there with them. No more of that nonsense next year. …you know…when I think about it, I was being pretty anti-social all week. I didn’t talk to Leighton much when we went walking, I didn’t spend much time with Bel, and when I went for coffee with Sarah…we didn’t do much talking either. I should apologize to them for that… The only person I was social and talkative with was Michelle for one night. Because I felt the need to rant about Jacob to her. Which made me feel much better. Michelle and I decided to volunteer together next year. I have no idea what we’ll do, but I know I will be volunteering to drive the trams. :D And tour guide of course, it comes with driving them. Anyway. I feel the need to tell you more about it tomorrow. Because I’m suddenly very tired. So expect more tomorrow. :) Goodnight world.

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

Greetings from Oshkosh, WI. I'm on day 5 of my vacation, and its turning out to be quite interesting. I have two things on my mind right now...Jacob and Noah. We'll start with Jacob since its more important at the moment. Ha...even though to start I have to talk about them both. So Jacob is jealous of Noah. In every way. I mean...just the mere fact that Noah is gay and that I talk to him is reason enough. All I have to do is mention his name and bam. Jealousy. My response is? Get your ass down here and be here yourself then. Because THAT would actually happen. So I texted him this evening with: Leighton is sitting right in front of me. Because I knew that would get his attention, and he'd talk to me right away. Well. Then Bel, being her brilliant self... decided to add to this. By texting him with this: "I am so glad Neal's found Leighton. I think he'd be good for him. And you should see them look at each other" Now. Granted I was hardly looking at him, and I don't believe he was looking at me... this was exaggerated a bit. This started an entire text battle between Bel and Jacob. Which...I do say is quite entertaining. Bel is then using all of this jealousy against him with "why aren't you here then?" and so on... And...honestly it does not bother me. At all. Jacob should be here. But...read my last posts as to why he ISN'T here. Basically, because college is more important to him than I ever was. Anyway. We shall move on to Noah since I'm getting tired here... I realize I call him Noah on my blogs. It just works better in my head, for some odd reason. And...I do enjoy being difficult. So he arrived here last night. Late last night. And so they set up today, and he scared the crap out of me when I was walking to the bathroom... All of the sudden he appears out of nowhere behind a van. And I'm all like: WTF. But then he came over and visited after Bel got here. And came inside the camper to sit with us and watch Grey's. That was fun. And...it was kinda fun to play with his head, because he knew that Bel and I were talking about him. Behind his back. In front of his face. But...she says she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by implying that he liked me. Which is understandable. I would certainly hate being put on the spot like that. And then...I was reminded that he does in fact continue to read my blog. And the things I say about him. Which...know what I've said about him...is kinda odd to think about. But good news is he is still talking to me. Since I'm falling asleep here writing this...standing up...I should go to bed. I might blog again before I leave. So. Goodnight world. I do not have a song for you this evening, but I'm sure you'll manage. :)

ADDITION: So last night by blog refused to post. Which is ok. Because I feel the need to mention that Noah came back over. Without a shirt on, no less. XD And his 10 minutes turned into an hour. Which you'll get no complaints from me about. Anyway, I just felt the need to share that. And the fact I hope my dad doesn't come over today. >.<

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

Oh, dear. Where has time gone? I haven't been here and talking to you for so long... Well. Fine. Let's get started. Where to start... Eh, what the hell, why not start with Jacob. So you know how I've been pushing him to fill out an application to the college here so he and I can live together?Well, about a week ago, I pushed him again. And I said "You haven't filled it out yet, have you?" And of course, his answer was no. So, I start pushing him and I get pissed and then I got all sad and worried that he'd never move in. And I said that, "I'm just worried, Jacob." And he says, "Me too." Wait..."What do you have to worry about?" "I have reasons." ..."And these reasons are...?" "I can't tell you." Seriously? You know me. If you tell me something along those lines, I'm going to jump on that and attack it until you tell me. So, that night I went to bed without knowing what this mystery reason was. We discussed it the next day, and he ended up telling me. "Fine. The reason I haven't filled out the application is because I'm enrolled at MSOE." Milwaukee School of Engineering. "Since when?" "About a week after we first discussed me moving in." You've known this for 3 and a half-ish months? And you're just now telling me? Needless to say I was a tad more pissed at that moment than I was depressed. I went to bed shortly after that. At about 1230 in the morning. I got up normally the next day, which was a Thursday. I looked to see how much I got paid and said "Mom, I want to go shopping." Because I felt that it would make me feel better. So I'm shopping, buying things that I really don't need from the store I work at. So Rose, (One of my managers), comes up to me and says "Hey, Neal. Would you like to stay later tonight?" And I'm all like..."Rose...I don't work tonight." "Oh...would you like to?" So of course, this is me. I only had 9 hours on the schedule that week. So I said, "Are you kidding? Of course I'll work tonight." Without a thought to the fact I was up until 1230 that morning. And my shift was from 4-8. So...at about 6, I'm all tired. And wanting to go home and sleep. That night, I said two things to Jacob. I'm going to bed, and then I said goodnight. The next day, however, wasn't so great. All of these thoughts flooded my mind throughout the day. "He's doing to be in Milwaukee. For like...4 years." "There are new people in Milwaukee for him to meet...what if he finds someone else?" "I have been talking about him moving in for months, why did he never say anything?" I didn't feel like talking to him much, so I didn't. I was up until 4 in the morning with that one too. This whole crying thing? I like it, but only because not crying is worse. But I don't like crying myself to sleep for 3 nights. Not fun at all. Things were pretty calm until about two days ago. The night before, I was crying and begging for a way to fix this (not to Jacob, but to who/what ever was listening) and then it came to me. What if...he come over on holiday breaks, and spends the summers here? Isn't that brilliant? I mean, not the entire holiday break, the whole visiting family thing of course. And so the next morning I practically shoved it down his throat and said "this is how it's going to be. Because this is the only way I can handle this." And as I kept talking about it, he got more "agitated". Annoyed, is the word I would've used... And so he started yelling at me. 1) I'm too whiny. Ok, I can admit that at times I am annoying and whiny. But...about this? I think I'm allowed to be whiny, thank you. 2) I wouldn't be able to handle an entire summer with you; maybe a week or two at most. Ok...you've never even been with me in real life. How would you know until you do? 3) And normally people have a first date before moving in together. Ok, now that's a somewhat valid argument there. But, it doesn't apply to us very much seeing as we've been together for two freaking years? 4)And sometimes I wonder why I even bother when for the past 6 months you've been ignoring me for work. Ok, that I admit. I have been less than there for him since I started work. I have yet to balance my entire schedule, and he's suffering for it. But we've talked about it before and he knows I'm working on it. He didn't have to shove it at me like that. At this point, I'm just bawling. I'm thinking that I've screwed the entire thing up. Like I have before. And I'm just saying to myself "All I want to do is make this work..." So we talked the next day, and I said, "What if, once you're here, you change your mind about only staying for a week?" And he replied "Then I'd stay." So that was my peace of mind. I'm sure I'll make him want to stay. And I decided that I'll just take this one day at a time. And see what happens. *sigh* So that's my story about Jacob. Moving on. Work has been slow latley. For the last couple of weeks I haven't really gotten more than 12-13 hours a week. And it's sad. :( But I think I'll live for the time being. I turn 18 in like...12 days. Woah...whatever am I going to do with myself? Lol. I think I'll do my written test for my driver's license. So I can at least get a temp. So I can drive myself. >.> I'm old. :/ Lol. Anyway...I think that should be all for tonight. I'm getting a little tired now, lol. So, goodnight world.

POST SONG+LINK:

Alright With Me by Kris Allen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6D3ICLriBo